Bizarre ideas

Une vingtaines d'amoncellements de pierre sur un passage de randonnée dans la foret
I kept ideas that I considered important, which were my benchmarks during these bizarre ideas, in more calm moments, keeping certain ideas in the long term reassured me. However most of these weird ideas make me rather anxious.

I realize that I have weird ideas, but they are very fleeting, and I have a hard time describing them, I have a hard time realizing it.

These are ideas where there are supernatural rules for a fraction of a second, for example that certain things are sacred in my mind, that some people are sacred, that certain things need to be done for the future to go well.

I take such an example: I sometimes believed that nature launched us into life by giving us scores on different human intellectual abilities, and that they are somewhat supernatural entities, let's say Gods who chose these scores (a bit like role plays where we choose the capacities of the people we create at the beginning of the party, here gods would have chosen our abilities at birth) and that it is a kind of competition, of play, between these Gods to find the best distribution of these human capacities to be the most winning human, the one with the best life, who will have realized the most great projects at the end of his life. So, with this in mind, I felt that if I had certain psychic abilities like Einstein or other scientists, I had no other abilities because we could not be perfect in all areas (according to this attribution of points in the intellectual abilities that I had at birth). And it's kind of like I consider this belief to be true, even though I was aware that it was crazy to think that. I imagined myself coming out victorious from life or conversely defeated, and if I was victorious, I saw myself feeling: it is well justified because we are the best, me and my god has chosen my scores, we know how to decide.

Each time, what is constant in these bizarre ideas is the impression that there is a supernatural rule: here supernatural people or entities who will choose my intellectual abilities before I am born.

Today, and I believe that it is as a result of the gluten-free diet that I am, if these ideas come almost more to my mind, I can make them disappear if I want.

And indeed when I eat gluten or cow's milk again that contains casein that can have a similar effect to gluten, then it can happen that a few hours later I have a lot of weird ideas that come to mind.

For the mechanism of gluten on the psyche, three doctors explained to me that gluten, cow's milk casein, sugar and soy, tend to degrade the junctions between the cells of the intestine (even for people who do not have a real gluten intolerance) and that often in people with psychological problems these junctions are already a little destroyed. These leaky junctions let molecules from the food bolus pass into the blood, saturate the liver and also pass into the brain and surely disrupt the neurons a little.

dessin comme une bande dessinée d'une histoire bizarre: un cosmonaute qui tombe sur terre dans un port
Astronaut: drawing of a bizarre scenario that I created in middle school!

Here is an example of other weird ideas that I noted at the time I got it, unfortunately I did not take the time to describe well what I felt, and I do not remember what I meant exactly, it is very confusing, but I leave this text very confused voluntarily to make it clear that it is very difficult to explain his bizarre ideas:

"There is telepathy between me and Lucie (a friend), that she will realize that I have changed telepathically, so if I called her it will disturb this balance, because I will tell things that will disturb her (even if the way I talk to her can disturb her, it should not change everything? Except butterfly effect) as if calling him or not calling him would change everything. To see things in a solemn way, to shudder, to testify in front of a TV camera that I will do grandiose things, a little to see something sacred in me. And yesterday I realized that, and this constant desire to want to fry, to want to be important disgusted me and it worried me that I can not think otherwise. It did that to me after the gluten recovery. It was a good thing because, these weird ideas that were going through my mind seem to have started to disappear at that moment. And conversely imagine that by calling her I will give her tips that will save her, I will free her from a memory that stresses her, (because I feel that she is always a little stressed) and it will change her life forever.

And it is born in me the fear that if I do not take into account this strange idea, then it will hurt, for example to Lucie (this friend) in this case, so I force myself to worry about this thing, I force myself not to forget it … in reality you have to ask yourself the question, will in practice it really change your life thanks to this? Yes, no, maybe! But the impression that we must not forget this idea remains very strong."

un gros serpent sur le sol
The presence of disturbing parasitic ideas disturbs.

As a child I also had this stuff, where I forced myself to remember certain events (such as the lightning on the electrical panel in the hospital of my city at the age of 5) because it would be beneficial for me to remember it. I had the idea that keeping in mind all these important ideas and impressions would make me strong and allow me to save the world, and if I forgot them that was the end. I always have a little bit of these impressions where I want to remember ideas, testimonies, understandings of the things I do, because, I think, they will serve me one day.

I often had, and a little less now, the intuition that if I do not stay focused on an idea, that if I do not suffer psychically permanently, or that on the contrary I think of something that I should not think, then a catastrophe will happen, or that it will create an irreversible thing…

as for example that the villains of the matrix (scenario that I felt was real) take over me by detecting me in their network (because the presence of certain ideas in my mind would allow them to find me in their network according to my intuition) which would ultimately allow them to succeed in destroying humanity. A bit like imagining a conversation with a person in our mind, I felt the presence of the person who will be affected by this catastrophe in my mind (here for this example of the matrix, it was the whole of humanity) when I had these intuitions, so it pushed me to continue not to forget that. When my mind bugs, that I believe in these beliefs, rather than forgetting the presence of that person in my mind, I continue to believe in it. I feel that something bad will happen if I forget to take this into account, the negative forces will take over, and suddenly I remain stuck on this worry for several minutes by forcing myself to think about things, or on the contrary not to think about others. If I forget to take this risk into account, it will cause the problem so we must not forget to think about this problem, which pushes me to think about it constantly.

It could sometimes be beliefs not about the supernatural consequences of my thoughts, but about actions, like opening the fridge or whatever.

Here I am talking about hypochondria (the permanent fear of having a serious illness), I wonder if it is related to weird ideas:

In these weird ideas, there is the idea that comes to mind and that says that if we do not take into account something, that if we take something too lightly then almost certainly it will be serious and not taking into account it will kill us or bother us seriously. So, in this psychic state, appears the idea that we must necessarily worry about it, otherwise we will miss out. Well this kind of idea can, perhaps, make hypochondriac.

Indeed, for example a long time ago I had a red pimple with a big spot around it, so I thought that if I think it's just a mosquito bite, then necessarily I will miss a migrant erythema (which can be indicative of Lyme disease, due to a tick bite and which can cause serious psychiatric problems, which wouldn't be cool given my situation), and if I forget to think about it I won't go to the doctor to prescribe an antibiotic to prevent this Lyme disease from taking hold, and I'll become even crazier, and that everything will be lost and that I can no longer live well and make my plans, plunging me into worry.

So my intuition that it is surely serious and that it is surely an erythema migrans (so the beginner lyme disease), intimately, if I ask myself the question even if it is a good intuition, then the answer is yes.

So here the impression that if we do not take into account a thing, an idea, it will pose a serious problem, can lead to becoming hypochondriac or having strange ideas. It should be seen whether hypochondria and bizarre ideas are often associated in patients.

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