Feeling of inferiority – rapid fluctuation between feeling of superiority and inferiority

Photo d'un lion dans un zoo pris dans un couloir en verre, le lion est sur le couloir
Feeling strong like a lion, but it's fake.

I imagined that I could make huge discoveries because I was sure to be immensely intelligent and the next second I imagined that it was totally ridiculous to imagine this, and that it was sure that I was stupid because I had imagined this totally crazy megalo thing, or because I had just lost in a game against a friend for example. Right after I was afraid that people would know what I was thinking, that they would find me very deeply ridiculous to imagine myself super genius. I was afraid that my attitude would betray the fact that I mean that, and so every moment in the presence of people, I was ashamed of these kinds of ideas.

I imagined myself as a lion at times, but deep down the confidence in me was not there and at the slightest obstacle, I became afraid.
photo d'un lapin dans une cage dans une exposition
Here, when we are afraid, we become very small again.

Then right after both motivated by the desire to prove to myself that I am a real genius, not an idiot, and by the motivation to do great things I imagined grandiose projects that I would realize, then I fell back into the fear of being an idiot and so on.

I think that this kind of unbearable fluctuations happened to me more by getting closer to the periods of crises that happened to me during the big school holidays.

One helping thing to deal with these fluctuations is that you have to know that we all have defects and qualities and therefore that extremely few people have only defects, and extremely few people have only qualities, that's how it is.

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