I imagined that I could make huge discoveries because I was sure to be immensely intelligent and the next second I imagined that it was totally ridiculous to imagine this, and that it was sure that I was stupid because I had imagined this totally crazy megalo thing, or because I had just lost in a game against a friend for example. Right after I was afraid that people would know what I was thinking, that they would find me very deeply ridiculous to imagine myself super genius. I was afraid that my attitude would betray the fact that I mean that, and so every moment in the presence of people, I was ashamed of these kinds of ideas.
Then right after both motivated by the desire to prove to myself that I am a real genius, not an idiot, and by the motivation to do great things I imagined grandiose projects that I would realize, then I fell back into the fear of being an idiot and so on.
I think that this kind of unbearable fluctuations happened to me more by getting closer to the periods of crises that happened to me during the big school holidays.
One helping thing to deal with these fluctuations is that you have to know that we all have defects and qualities and therefore that extremely few people have only defects, and extremely few people have only qualities, that's how it is.